When It’s Hard (And Sometimes it Will Be)

Even after you’ve fought with depression for years, even once you have come out the other side, some days will be hard. I know that’s not what you want to hear (gods know, it isn’t what I wanted to hear!), but it is important for you to understand, because it doesn’t mean anything about you, your worth, or your overall happiness. Life is a series of ups and downs for everyone.

Even after you’ve beat depression, there will be days when you wake up feeling alone (even though you are surrounded by people who love and support you)

Days when everything relies on you, and you know you aren’t up to the task (even though you’ve done this very thing a dozen or a hundred times)

Days when everything you read
feels like a personal attack (even though the author never met you)

Days when you keep saying yes even when your heart cried no (even though you know better)

Days when you are trapped behind a pane of glass, watching the world go by but unable to touch it (even though you swore you would never feel like this again).

And those days will suck. But they will pass, just like they did before. No matter how frightened you are, no matter how badly you want to curl up under your desk, no matter how certain you are that everything is ruined forever (forever!) – it will pass.

So what do you do while you wait for it to pass? Practice self-love. Remind yourself of your successes. Tell yourself all the things you wish others would say to you. Breathe. Go for a walk. Get outside. Play with a pet. Read. Take a bubble bath. Spray some perfume. Call a friend. Watch ridiculous videos. Most importantly, be patient and gentle with yourself. And if you are having a hard day, and you are having trouble believing what I’ve said, that’s ok. You don’t have to believe anything that does not feel true in your heart. But, when you are ready to step forward into the light again, I will be waiting, cheering you on.

13 Comments

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  • http://www.bealertandmakenoeffort.com/ Ann Stanley

    Lovely post. Thank you.

    • http://www.3speedlife.com/ Joanna Weston

       You’re welcome!  I hope it helps someone, somewhere, who is having that kind of day.

      • MJ

        It helped me. :)  Thank you.

  • http://twitter.com/mindycrary mindycrary

    This is so true–and it reminds me of Jill Bolte Taylor, who realized that the emotions that come with our thoughts usually play out in about 90 seconds . . . I find if I am struggling with depression, the more gentle I am with myself, the faster I come out of it!

    • http://www.3speedlife.com/ Joanna Weston

       Yes, the 90 second limit on intense emotions is so helpful to know about!  The vague darkness can persist longer than that, but the overpowering emotions really do pass quickly.  They may come back again, but you get a respite between the waves.

  • http://twitter.com/barbaralazarony barbara lazarony

    Being present to was is present is so important–the taste of water, the smell of sunshine, the liteness of a breeze, the sound of bird song.

    • http://www.3speedlife.com/ Joanna Weston

       Absolutely.

  • http://DebraSmouse.com/ Debra Smouse

    Feeling.  Being present. Being gentle with yourself.  All so key in moving to the other side of the glass pane.  

    • http://www.3speedlife.com/ Joanna Weston

       Yes!  And remembering that you *can* get to the other side, even if you can’t remember how.

  • Peggy

    Thank you for this post. It is helpful to me! I have had those days recently.  It did pass. I always does.

    • http://www.3speedlife.com/ Joanna Weston

       I’m glad this was helpful for you.  And yes, they always do end.  Especially if we can find a way to not resist, and just let them pass over and through us. :-)

  • http://www.yourfullplate.com/ Marla

    I found my way here from Tiny Buddha – I love what you’ve shared.  Just this morning when I was meditating and focusing on my breath I had the thought that because I’m still breathing, things can change at any time.  Now I read your post, which ties right into it and I will take as serendipitous.  Thank you!  

    • http://www.3speedlife.com/ Joanna Weston

       Welcome!  I’m glad this post found you at a serendipitous moment.